Mole diaries

I'd never had a problem with moles before, living in town but, out here in the sticks, things are a bit different.

The first year that we had the house, we had mole hills everywhere and didn't know what to do about it. I didn't think that it would be too much of a problem, I just thought that I could clear away the molehills and that would be that. What I didn't realise was that the moles kill all of the grass roots under the molehills, leading to loads of round bald patches all over the lawn.

A bloke I worked ( codename Diggers) with used to be a gamekeeper and he volunteered to sort it out in exchange for some free accommodation. I bought some traps, and sent him on his way. His controversial diaries about his failure read like the 'Heart of Darkness' of gardening. Here are some horrifying extracts.

"Monday

0800 hrs Monday - an inspection of the ground & hinterland revealed evidence of a mole infestation of epidemic proportions.

The last time I saw anything like this was in the 'Nam' - and I don't need to remind you that Charlie won that one!

I needed to get on a level playing field to make a true appraisal of the situation so, after a trip to Angouleme for some R&R, me and the family flattened all of the molehills in the garden. At least then I could see where Charlie was active. Oh yeah, I also needed Napalm, but there was none in the shed, so the next best thing was 'Hank Hills Mower'.

I concentrated efforts on the area south of the copse, setting all 3 traps. Don't worry, Charlie hasn't learnt how to use these yet, so you should be quite safe.

Tuesday

Tuesday morning revealed that two of the three traps had been disturbed- Charlie had back filled earth into one end of the trap. I am uncertain if this is his way of taking the piss or whether the digging leaves loose soil in the run that needs to be moved.

No moles caught on Tuesday - although it is evident that Charlie is present in area Z - some molehills have been resurrected - I have even stood and watched Charlie digging out - It's strange but you can't actually see him, just the earth moving.

Wed morning

As I walked through area Z I noticed some movement, and a little nose peeking out - it was Charlie . I went for the fork, but by the time I got back, he had gone!

Observation

My advice to you Keith is this

1 - Stamp molehills down daily. This allows you to observe areas of activity accurately
2 - Always carry the garden fork, you might catch Charlie on spec, and be able to 'fork him'.
3 - Check traps at either end of the day
4 - Experiment - Charlie can be beaten - dig a few holes yourself

I think the next thing is poison - I haven't a clue how many moles you have but, judging by the activity, it's between 3 and 1 million.

5 - Get the airforce to Napalm the garden ( first thing in the morning cos I love the smell, etc, etc ) "

The horror, the horror!

The Story So Far

I thought that it would be good to give some more details of what we have actually been up to in the last five months, before we started the blog.

When we moved out in August, the shutters and new doors had all been fitted on the barn, so the outside was more or less up together, although they all needed a few coats of varnish.

On the inside , our builder ( Mr H) had moved the pain du bois (an arrangement of wooden bars used to tether cattle) around 90 degrees, and was about to fit the joists for upstairs. He did this with the help of three lads, while Tina and I had the demanding work of making them tea.

With the professionals off site, it was our turn to fit upstairs floor. We decided to fit waterproof chipboard as a base, and then we can tile or parquet it when we ( one day) get to the decorating phase upstairs.

This was all done in time for our furniture to be delivered from the UK, as the front of the barn is going to act as storage for a while.

In the meantime, we were also having to tame the garden, as we had not had the chance to visit the house since April so the 'grass was as high as an elephants eye' ( name that tune?). The garden is almost an acre, and it takes a lot of work to keep up together. The vines on the front of the house had almost covered the doorway, the garden path had almost disappeared, and the tree that I use as shade for the car in the summer had grown so much that it would have taken the windscreen out.

And then there we're the mole hills .........

( to be continued )

Snow Day

After our good start to the week, we had 15 cm of snow on tuesday, so we have downed tools again.

We managed to get out to the shops when it started, so we've got plenty of food, although I am thinking that maybe I should have got an extra crate of Heiniken, as there is more snow forecast for tomorrow.

It is very quiet today. The roads are all iced over, so even the maddest Frenchman is taking it steady. The dustmen didn't make it through, and we haven't seen a single truck go past.

We went for a six mile walk round the village today, and it looks like most people have just stayed at home.

I might try to get motivated tommorow, and put up some more plasterboard, but is soooo cold in the barn, I'm afraid the plaster might freeze before we get it on the wall!

Progress

We've now done as much as we can in the cellar, until we can knock through, and we're not going to do that until the winters over!

So this week we are both working in the new living room. Tina is still repointing(scraping out), although the scaffolding is up a stage, which makes it very scary to get down from. ( It took half an hour the last time!)

We have also managed to get the first bits of plasterboard onto the ceiling. This is really tricky, as the joists are really old, and very few of them are straight, but at least we don't need the scaffold for it yet. That will come later.

It takes a lot of getting up and down the ladder, measuring cutting and measuring again to try and get them to fit, and then a bit of filling in the bits that you have over cut, but hopefully we will get the hang of it. That's two down, and another 34 to go for this room!

Getting my rse in gear

Well after only 6 months, I have finally got of my rse and register for a blog.

We will try and keep it updated with our, slow, progress with the barn conversion.

The utility room and cellar are about us up together as they can be, without knocking through, but we are saving that for the spring, when the weather is a bit warmer.

All of the plasterboard for the next room has been delivered, but looking at how (not) straight the rafters are, it is going to be a bit like the Sistine Chapel, but in dulux emulsion instead.